How to be productive after an insurrection alternatively titled That white man really had his feet on the good furniture in the capitol

“How am I supposed to get any work done with all this?”

I was on the couch watching Gabrielle Union and Jessica Alba somehow be the most attractive detectives in a completely unrealistic show called L.A.’s Finest.

“Girl, what shit?”
”Girl, they stormed the capitol!”
”Oh, shit!”

I immediately turned off my version of stories and flipped on the news. And lo and behold, there were the whites all up and through the capitol. As I am watching them roam through the nation’s capitol I am reminded of my time as a congressional intern and I begin to think: wait a damn minute, how the fuck did they get in? Then I text a few friends, who also did some time on The Hill and we all agreed they had to have an inside person. This was all before the videos began to circulate of the cops removing the barricades and the cops taking selfies with intruders (a.k.a. domestic terrorists).

As I sat and watched with my mouth agape, I became angrier and angrier with each image that flashed across the screen. As someone who holds a degree in political science, a person who is a former congressional intern, and someone who used to have aspirations of running for political office (before I realized I say “nigga” too much on social media) I do care just a little bit about that building. I mean it is history. It is a building that I got to spend time walking through. It is beautiful. And most importantly: my tax dollars are going to be used to pay for damages.

But let me be clear: the thing that made me the angriest was the fact these terrorists were not met with the same violence that Black folx faced this summer when we were in the streets demanding justice. These folx came from all over the country and “marched” on Washington because their supreme leader didn’t win the election. And although I am angry, nothing about this was shocking or surprising.

I sat and watched as white pundits couldn’t seem to get the term “domestic terrorists” out of their mouths without fumbling. I sat and watched as news anchors tried to earn their Emmys by telling us how woke they were to realize that Black Lives Matter protestors were met with tear gas and rubber bullets just so Trump could cross the street. I sat and listened as other reports said “the police were overwhelmed.”

We all did. And by we, I mean us Black folx. So we did what we do best, turn to Twitter and make jokes because honestly, this shit was laughable; however, between the hilarious tweets and funny memes, there was a very important question: how the hell are we supposed to return to work tomorrow? How am is the teacher supposed to return to their [virtual] classroom and teach children? How am I supposed to prepare for a zoom meeting when all I can think about is how that white man had his feet on the good furniture in the capitol? (y’all know you can’t have your feet on the good furniture!!)

The thing is, I know Toni Morrison told us that the main function of racism is to keep us distracted from our work. The rational side of my brain gets that. Yes, keep working because shit still has to get done. But as i have grown older—all twenty-seven years of my life—I have realized that doing the work also includes resting.

Yesterday was exhausting, even if you were not watching the news all night like me. It was taxing to watch white privilege on display yet again. It was vexing to see these insurgents erect a cross in front of the capitol building and begin kneeling and praying. And it was maddening to hear white folks begin to use #SayHerName as if it was made for them.

Every time someone said that “this isn’t America!” or “we are better than this,” I cackled so loud. Black folx everywhere know that this is America. The country that is built on stolen land. The country that enslaved Black folx for centuries. The country where Kim K. is somehow the face of prison reform as if Black and Brown folx haven’t been screaming for that for ages.

What happened yesterday is nothing that we were not expecting because Trump has been egging his disciples on long before he took the oath of office. What happened yesterday was just confirmation of everything we have been knowing for centuries.

I think back to this summer when everyone wanted an anti-racist book to read. When suddenly everyone wanted to know how they could “be better” and that lasted approximately six months.

So here we are, the day after white america showed their entire pasty ass and we have to return to work because capitalism reigns supreme. I don’t want to read a single email, to answer a single phone call, to write up any findings for a manuscript but something tells me I still will have to do all of those things. Yet, I have decided that before I dive into anything this morning I am taking time to rest and regroup and to be Black as possible in my apartment.

I have left my durag on. I have drank my coffee. I put some sugar in my grits. I played Frankie Beverly and Maze and some Earth, Wind, & Fire; and I rounded out my jam session with an old school baptist song.

My point is, how to be productive after you see white folk get away damn near treason is to bring your whole self to your desk after you chat with the ancestors. You remember that America is gonna do what America does best and that is white supremacy .

Maybe you don’t turn your camera on during meetings today. Maybe you let that email sit a little longer because I am sure whatever Jane or Thomas need isn’t an emergency. Today, and everyday, even though you must stay focus on your work—just like I must—remember that rest is necessary to do your work. So although we may not be able to call in Black today we can still take care of ourselves because rest looks different for everybody.