Storms make potholes: how my mental health fell into each one

I think there is some irony in the fact that May is mental health awareness month and it was a shitty mental health month for me. I am sure for many people that was the case as well—especially considering all of the situational things going on. End of the semester, finals, weather change, and Mothers’ Day all can take a toll on you and then if you are like me, you throw in your clinical diagnosis for depression and anxiety and May is legit a shit show.

I wish i could say I made it to the other side; however, it is only May 13th and I still have a few more major things coming up. Like moving. Not just moving across town, but I am packing up my place, selling all of our furniture, and moving to Austin, TX.

I will tell you now that I have no “message” with this post I just had to get on here and write and update everyone as well as vent through some things.

If you have been following my journey, then you know I am originally from Texas and I landed in Iowa for my master’s degree. Yes, you read that right—I willingly moved to Iowa. But now my time is over and my mental health seems like it hit every pothole along the way.

I usually try to write more in the month of May to discuss a little bit more transparently my own personal battles I go through; however, as you can imagine with trying to graduate with my master’s my schedule got so hectic.

As a matter of fact, it is not that it got hectic it was I just was so exhausted and I really couldn’t figure out why. Looking back I understand why, I was under so much stress. I barely slept because I was so stressed. I just wanted to graduate and everything just seems like it was a blur these past months. I could not tell you exactly what happened.

I am happy that I have completed my Master’s but I also know that I need to use this summer as time to recover before I dive into this PhD.

Every day felt like a storm during my master’s! Every day! I wish I was lying. And because of these storms, my path to wholeness is now full of potholes. There is a scholarly term for it; however, I won’t get into all of that today. My only point is that ya girl is exhausted and doesn’t really have much left

You know what happens when your car hits a bunch of potholes, you need alignment. you need new tires. hell, you may need a whole new car. And that is how my body feels after this semester, really after my entire time at Iowa. I think I have been doing the quick fixes on these potholes, but this summer I plan to actually take time to repave them.

okay, thats it rant over